Boarding Group Stabby
I commented a little while back on the trials and tribulations of flying on Southwest. While I feel bad at poking fun of such a harmless, innocent, texas-bred-and-thus-automatically-pitiful* company...I must. I'll keep flying them, my being cheap and enjoying peanuts, but I'll probably keep bitching. A'ite.
1) My ticket clearly stated that I was flying from San Jose to Phoenix, Phoenix to St. Louis. Simple enough, right? In reality, on the way to Phoenix we stopped in Burbank to pick up some folks. Okay, no big deal...would have been nice to know, but...whatever. Change planes in Phoenix...but it is too hot in Phoenix to put fuel in the plane. Again: it was too hot in Phoenix to put fuel in the plane. As a result, we had to take off and limp our way to Oklahoma City for a "quick pit stop." That is a lot of take-offs and landings, folks. A lot of pre-takeoff and post-landing federally mandated speeches. Which brings me to my main, albeit cliche'd, gripe...
2) The above wouldn't be so terrible if it wasn't for the incessant hammy jokes by the flight attendants. My favorite came just after a bumpy landing: "That wasn't the captain's fault, or the first mate's fault...that was asphalt." Not bad on its own, admittedly, but after twelve hours of jokes regarding cellphones, peanuts, and that wacky guy who takes his belt of before the "bing," and I was ready to get stabby. Please, Southwest attendents....STOP.
3) The high waisted khaki uniform-pants. Is point #2 revenge on us for having to wear pants that come up to your nipples? Only the Hooter company's faux-tan stockings are more annoying.
*Relax, ya crazy texans. I was partially raised in texas so I have a right to kid. Plesae don't shoot/electrocute/pollute/fence me off. Ya'll.
posted by Jason Lott at 2:22 PM
2 Comments:
Hi, saw your link on Crazy A.P.'s blog- too funny about SW. They're actually my favorite to fly, but I've gotten one Houston based crew several times that thinks they're the funniest thing since the last season of Blue Collar Comedy.
I can never decide if I like or hate the jokes on Southwest. I think I laughed at first because it was a nice change but then it just seemed annoying, being disrupted in the midst of a good book or article. Mainly though now I consider a good flight one that doesn't crash. I'm keeping my expectations low and making my entertainment my own job-thus! I bring only the best snacks, books, magazines, stationary, and music. I just wonder if the Southwest people make up their own jokes or if they are in their own little private book.?
Post a Comment
<< Home