Evil Wizards Who Threaten Christianity vs. Evil Wizards Who Deserve Medals
I mentioned to a coworker this morning that I was reading the new Harry potter book.
Midwest-Administrative-Assistant-Type-Fatass-Lady immediately admonishes me for "supporting a piece of literature that goes against the church and teaches the word of Satan to our defenseless youngsters."
This is the same woman who told me the previous week that Karl Rove deserves a medal.
Just to be clear:
-Beloved children's books featuring cautionary tales of good triumphing over evil are bad. Got it. Children don't understand that magic isn't real, and can't be trusted to formulate their own opinions. Check. Fictional magic in said children's book leads to the destruction of the moral fabric within this country and will turn our offspring into devil worshipping liberals who will clean their teeth with the spines of newborns, do copious amounts of soul-destroying drugs and who will (GAWD forbid) be attracted to someone of the same sex. Good point. I'll go burn the book.
-A man who stole an election, lied to the entire world in order to start a ficticious war that kills hundreds of thousands of innocents, leaked sensitive security information, planted a gay male escort as a fake reporter to lob the president easy questions at press gatherings...DESERVES A MEDAL?
Okay. I see the logic. I've been so lost. Thank you, MAATFL, for saving my soul and those of our children.
On a related note, a few days ago Mark Morford of the SF Chronicle wrote what has to be the scariest paragraph ever put to paper:
"Maybe this scandal is, in fact, part of a larger and even more Machiavellian strategy orchestrated by the evil genius himself, one designed to backfire on the Dems and elevate Rove to the point of bizarre saint, a patriotic hero, in a fantastical but not unthinkable effort get Rove promoted, maybe even (eventually) appointed -- brace yourself, because this could actually happen -- to the Supreme Court. "
In times like this, I wish there were wizards to save us Muggles from ourselves. God help us all, indeed.
Midwest-Administrative-Assistant-Type-Fatass-Lady immediately admonishes me for "supporting a piece of literature that goes against the church and teaches the word of Satan to our defenseless youngsters."
This is the same woman who told me the previous week that Karl Rove deserves a medal.Just to be clear:
-Beloved children's books featuring cautionary tales of good triumphing over evil are bad. Got it. Children don't understand that magic isn't real, and can't be trusted to formulate their own opinions. Check. Fictional magic in said children's book leads to the destruction of the moral fabric within this country and will turn our offspring into devil worshipping liberals who will clean their teeth with the spines of newborns, do copious amounts of soul-destroying drugs and who will (GAWD forbid) be attracted to someone of the same sex. Good point. I'll go burn the book.
-A man who stole an election, lied to the entire world in order to start a ficticious war that kills hundreds of thousands of innocents, leaked sensitive security information, planted a gay male escort as a fake reporter to lob the president easy questions at press gatherings...DESERVES A MEDAL?
Okay. I see the logic. I've been so lost. Thank you, MAATFL, for saving my soul and those of our children.
On a related note, a few days ago Mark Morford of the SF Chronicle wrote what has to be the scariest paragraph ever put to paper:
"Maybe this scandal is, in fact, part of a larger and even more Machiavellian strategy orchestrated by the evil genius himself, one designed to backfire on the Dems and elevate Rove to the point of bizarre saint, a patriotic hero, in a fantastical but not unthinkable effort get Rove promoted, maybe even (eventually) appointed -- brace yourself, because this could actually happen -- to the Supreme Court. "
In times like this, I wish there were wizards to save us Muggles from ourselves. God help us all, indeed.
posted by Jason Lott at 12:33 PM
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