jason's big head: January 2006

american splendor

american splendor, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

I am loving "Ghost Town: While St. Louis Sleeps," a book by local photographer Eric Post. Fearless guy: some of the featured locations are places you do not want to go, much less alone, MUCH less at night.

http://www.booksonstlouis.com/ghtowhstlosl.html

Jewel the Foodie

Scenario: Melissa and I on couch, absentmindedly watching television. More specifically: watching the terrible american recreation of The Iron Chef. Bobby Flay is running around high on cocaine and yelling at his helper monkeys while creating lamb sushi. He is the Iron Chef, not the challenger. This is disconcerting, but nothing compared to what happens next:

The judges receive their plates, the first of whom is a blonde with terribly capped teeth. Once she is done chomping on a rack of lamb...her face is exposed.

Melissa and I, in unison: "Is that fucking JEWEL?"

Note to the producers of the show: hiring a formally homeless vegan folk singer/poet (I'm being kind with the "poet" moniker) to judge a food show about LAMB is NOT a good move. She has about as much knowledge of the food, about as much right to comment on meat as I would tampons. Read: none.

Dark Star Orchestra

Tonight Melissa and I are going to revisit our youth and go see Dark Star Orchestra live. The band takes acutal Grateful Dead setlists of yesteryear and recreates them live. I haven't been to any kind of jam band show in a while: it's time to get my annual fill of stinky college trustafarians. The dozens of Dead shows I actually attended while being a stinky college trustafarian are kind of a blur, so this could be a useful experience.

Thoughts regarding the Golden Globes

-Was I the only one who got sick of all the hype about them serving booze? Stop hitting me over the head with it, a'ite? We get it...those crazy actors could potentially get buzzed and act funny/stupid/controversial. Don't care. Unless Tara Reid was in attendance.

-Scarlett is hot. D'uh. While a little bit Jersey for my californian and midwestern roots, she is second only to Charlize at the top of the list. Still, her bridge-n-tunnel thing does put her in danger of being knocked down by another voluptuous blonde, the model-doctor from Gray's Anatomy. I don't watch the show, only peer over whatever I am reading whenever Mel has it on and whatever-her-name-is is on screen. Promise.

-Mariah Carey looks like a blow up sex doll.

-Paul Giametti got robbed of his pity award. Jeremy Pivens got robbed as well. Oh, speaking of Pics, was he hitting on that reporter? Love the guy.

-Philip Seymour Hoffman: great actor, crappy thank-you-speech-giver.

-I'm going to hell for not seeing the Cash movie, right? I just cannot get over Reese Witherspoon: her presence on screen makes me vomit a little in my mouth. Ryan Phillipe certainly had himself draped all over his (vomit inducing) wife last night. Melissa swears it's because he's loving and supportive and affectionate. I think he's a greedy screen-stealing mooch.

-Brokeback Mountain. Haven't seen it yet. Mostly because I live in the Midwest and I imagine that the same people who protest abortion clinics are taking time off to stone those leaving the theatre. I am damn sick of all of the hoopla about this being a controversial movie, though. It's just a story about some kinda forbidden love, right? Kinda like Romeo & Juliet, with butt sex, right?

-Clooney is a cool f'ing guy. The man's man of this generation. And you've gotta love his quote, ""And who'd name a kid Jack, with a last name that ends with 'off'".

-Where the hell was TomKat? I needed my crazy fix of the day.

-I cannot hear anything about The Chronicles of Narnia without singing Lazy Sunday. It's all about the hamiltons ba-bee.

-I would totally date Drew Barrymore, but she looked kinda scary. I'm not sure how she walked in heals without tripping over her own boobs. Put a leash on those things. The bra-less look with invisible material is usually a good thing. In this case I didn't need to see where her babies feed.

-Lost deserved to win, mostly because I don't watch any of the other shows.

-I once watched "House" for about 17 minutes. I found the lead character- whose girl name is escaping me- so unbelievably annoying that I almost went and got all stabby. Apparently I am the only one.

-Mary Louis Parker winning for Weeds over every single one of the over rated, getting more desperate by the minute housewives= awesome, especially after Chris Rock's "one of these kids is doing hew own thing" monologue.

-When did Geena Davis get fat?

Beautiful Midwest Weather

Today's weather:
Snow and Windy
33 Feels Like 22

Two weeks ago I was in shorts, drinking a daquiri (yeah, a mother f'ing daquiri. You got a problem?) poolside. Yesterday it was about 60. Today? 33 with a beautiful mix of snow, rain, and ice pellets.

Being Friday, I think the night calls for a fire, piece of meat and some scotch. Complete hibernation. Lock it down, don't come out until spring. Maybe I'll go a little crazy and reenact the Shining.

Homer: No beer and no tv make Homer go something-something.
Marge: Crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do! Heanmdhythdnvihv, mcdsafdfdsafdsanmf,vZNCvnlsadknfv,mdsanvhv.

A Very Short, Non-broadband Note For Bryan:

Schoolbus!

sunshine daydream

sunshine daydream, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

Payton follows the sun around the house, napping in whatever bright spot that he can find, whether it be on a couch, stair, or (in this case) corner office. This makes for easily taken photos of him, and the sun-worship further affirms that that the dog senses his human's 4th generation california roots, and yearns to head west.

holiday abundance

holiday abundance, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

Melissa and I spent Christmas at her parent's house in Scottsdale. It was a great time, and I was amazed at how much they made me feel comfortable and part of the family. These people know how to do christmas right: look at all those presents. Jokes about people in Scottsdale being the ultimate consumers aside, their kindness and good spirits are infectious. Even for my sarcastic soul.

Scenario: During a brief lull in between dinner and dessert, Joe (the Dad) and I have a chance to talk:

ME: Um, Joe, I have a quick question for you that I meant to ask yesterday when we were playing golf.

JOSEPH: Yes?

ME: I was wondering if it would be okay to ask Melissa to marry me, we're good for each other and happy and in love and have fun...

JOSEPH: This is supposed to be a quick question?

Funny guy, that Joe. After making me almost choke on my wine with the above question, he gave his blessing.

Note to family members, many of whom seem to be confused by the above conversation: we are not (yet) engaged. I was simply asking for his permission to ask. I was under the impression that this tradition was a polite gesture and a sign of respect.

Did I mess up the order, or something? Both our Dads seem to think that we'd actually gotten engaged. Whoops...

Willow and I Visiting the New Lot

IMG_0533, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

Willow and I checking out the new lot in Querencia, where Mom and Dad are building their dream house. Unbelievably beautiful place. When leaving the gated community, a guard hands out bottled water. Upon thanking him, his response was "I make the dreams happen." I was under the impression that building a new house in Baja was the dream, but if plastic encased water does the trick I'm due for an uncomfortable conversation with the parents.

The title for this photo could be:

"A new lott and and old lott visit a new lot," or something equally clever

or:

"Jason with Beautiful Niece and Huge Chunk of Food in Back Tooth"

Both are catchy.

lunch

lunch, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

Multiple Willow pics in Mexico to follow. I made up for lost time by following her around with the camera for two days, no doubt scaring the shit out of her. I'm a great uncle.