Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding, as it turns out, is kind of a big deal. Hmmmm. Who'da thunk it would be more than a little more complicated than a backyard barbecue? Hmmmm: maybe I'll bug Melissa about getting married in the backyard. We could do is Missurah style:

• One keg budweiser
• Two bottle jack daniels
• Popcorn apps
• Steak. Lots and lots of Steak. The captial "S" is not a typo in this state
• Lynard Skynard tribute band
• Lake of the Ozarks honeymoon: bring the dog and do some shootin'.

Done deal.

In reality we're leaning towards a beach wedding in baja, a place which has special meaning for us. It was our first getaway trip together when we were doing the long distance thing, and the first place I told her I loved her. Tequila WAS involved in that memory, and I think it is only fair for it to be included in a wedding ceremony.

Maybe here, so that we can rent the entire hotel. And maybe get some surfing in. Just maybe.

Because Melissa and I are two of the most anally retentive, obsessive compulsive disorder having, list making freaks on the planet, the planning of this party is either going to be real easy... or a subject of future therapy.

It's Official

Email I sent out last week:

"Friends and Family*:

Melissa and I got engaged on Tuesday, both her birthday and Valentine’s Day. Many of you know my complete inability to remember important dates, so I am doing everything I can to ensure that every important occurrence moving forward falls on the 14th of February. All future weddings, births, parties and celebrations will have this target date moving forward. The fact that Melissa had a terrible stomach flu that day didn’t even dissuade me from my plan; I consider the fact that she hasn’t thrown up since I proposed a sign that our marriage will be strong. What little girl doesn’t dream of such a romantic way to be asked for her hand in marriage? For this, and an infinite number of other reasons, I am a lucky dude.

We have not yet decided on a date or location, although you can guess when I’m pulling for."

Pictures to follow.

My favorite response I received was from my Uncle Duck, arguably the funniest, kindest person on the planet:

"Hello J:You have no idea how happy we are! Kathy and I both love you and Melissa.

You could crawl on your hands and knees across India (As the devotes in my former religion used to say it would take to find a guru) to find a Melissa. I remember (sort of) this song Sweet Melissa by somebody from the 60's or 70's or gasp 80's. Actually I don't remember anything about that song but I do know that your Melissa has a big heart, is very smart, is very insightful and will zing you when you need it. She is also a kick in the head. Lucky you.

As far as the wedding date goes I will always remember that you proposed 4 days after Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 73 year old man in the face, because he thought that old man was a tiny innocent little bird with a very beautiful little feathery crown, and so will set my calendar accordingly. As far as the ceremony goes, your brother raised a very high bar, in my mind, because that was the best wedding I have ever been to. You should also know I prefer funerals to weddings because of the honesty factor. So raising the bar might be very easy. Well screw me. Do what you want and we be will be happy.

If I was you and wanted to have a wedding where like maybe 8 people attended have it in Sapa, or Cat Ba, Vietnam. Magic!

If you want a crowd I'd vote for St. Louis or AZ or Mexico. Please stay away from the pro commie RED states.However if you decide to be married in a biker bar in New Jersey we will be there.

PPS: I'm sorry I played with your toys when you were a little kid."

"My Coolest Story EVER"

Bryan is spending a week backcountry skiing with friends in Alaska. This morning I received this email from him, with the title: "My Coolest Story EVER."

"Well, at least my coolest story since Willow has been born. SO COOL in fact, that I'm not even going to hint in this letter what this story may be about, but be warned: I'm calling you soon, and you're going to hear one rad fuckin' story. And NO it has nothing (err...very, very little) to do with skiing or snow).

Will be calling you shortly so that you can share in the super-cool life of Bryan."

The urgent and excited nature of the email led me to speculate to no end. He found a frozen caveman in the wilds of Alaska? He saved ANWAR? He brokered a deal selling alaska to Canada? Bryan has lead a pretty amazing life with all sorts of adventures and stories. Could anything top past escapades?

Nope. It seems Bryan was in a ski-bum bar last night, where he ran into a friend from New Mexico. The friend, as it turns out, was in town documenting Tony Hawk on a 10 day backcountry skiing adventure for Men's Health (or some similar mag). The friend, apparently, called Tony Hawk over to introduce my brother as "someone he should meet." The following was important to Bryan because:

1) He was introduced as someone for Tony Hawk to meet, not the other way around

2) After the introduction, Tony Hawk was swarmed by hucksters at the bar. Tony Hawk later thanked Bryan for being so "chill" in his conversations, unlike the other swarming patrons of the bar. Bryan has mastered the art of "chill," it seems. Even Tony Hawk recognizes his powerful inner chillness.

This event, in Bryan's words, now rates just under the birth of his daughter. Nobody said the men of the Lott household were mature. I'm just pissed he didn't mention to Tony Hawk how the Bones Brigade movies changed my life. Chin was here, dude.

LD Country

LD Country, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

I've never lived in a City that has such a fine line between disparity and wealth. My neighborhood was saved (or ruined, depending on perspective) in the 80's by urban pioneers who braved the crime and began rehabbing houses.

Today, half-million dollar rehabbed mansions* (one a former home of a beer baron, so the story is told) sit next door to dilapidated abandoned shells, slowly deteriorating by means of a new growth urban forest. One house's landscaping is another's demise.


Al Capone used to play poker in this house. Today it has been taken over by another breed of gangster, one who doesn’t seem to employ the same clandestine sensibilities.

*Yes, in St. Louis you can buy a beer baron's mansion for .5 million dollars. Not a typo.

Man Shot By Cheney "Very Stable"

Apparently Vice President Cheney shot his hunting partner, who to no surprise to me turns out to be a lawyer, while quail hunting over the weekend.

Other than being evil, the guy is fine. Which means we can make fun of him. Favorite parts to the AP story:

"In 1999, then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the state Funeral Services Commission, which had been stung by allegations of widespread corruption and mismanagement in the industry."
-No shit? A Bush appointee stung by allegations? And further: how big is the funeral industry in Texas as to need a Funeral services Commission? All those executions, I guess. And how inept must one be to mismanage dead people?

"Katharine Armstrong, the ranch’s owner, told The Associated Press that the accident occurred after Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of a car to shoot at a covey of quail."
-So these guys are DRIVING around the ranch, looking for shit to shoot? Didn't their mamas teach them that fat, drunk, LAZY and stupid is no way to go through life?

friday

wondering where mom is, originally uploaded by jasonmlott.

Chicago

In Chicago for a few days for work. Let it be said that I love this City. It's full of widwestern adventurers from Minnesota and Ohio and St. Louis. It's kinda like NYC, only nice.

I'm going to go eat pizza with John Cusack and Oprah now.

Went here (http://www.saltaus.com/space.html) for dinner last night. The concierge at the hotel told me it was the "hottest table in town." I think they're taking minimalism to a new level, though: I was the only person there. But damn, the food was good.